


On my own

by orphan_account



Category: Free!
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-04
Updated: 2015-08-02
Packaged: 2018-04-07 14:36:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4266969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nitori has had feelings for Momotarou for a very long time now... But he's not sure if Momo feels the same.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Trust

"Nitori-senpai!" Momo exclaimed as he entered the dorm room, almost tearing the door off of its hinges as he threw it open. The wood made a large clack as it hit the opposite wall. The red-head rubbed the back of his neck, "Oh man, sorry." He said, smiling at his silver haired companion still.

Nitori hadn't even looked up from his homework, he'd been trying to concentrate and he was actually used to something like that happening. He shook his head slighly, "It's fine, Momo-kun." He stated as he worked. 

Momo quietly shut the door behind him, locking it. Last week someone had their room broken into across the hall and it made the golden eyed boy afraid that it would happen to them. Not that they really had anything valuabe in there. Just school stuff and clothes. Plus Momo's collection of stag beetles that were lined up in jars on the desk. The roommates had gotten into quite the argument over it, but by now, the silver haired boy was used to it. He just ignored them, unless one were to try to climb and fall or try to fly, he'd usually freak out and recoil so fast that his chair would fall backwards. 

"Uh, Nitori-senpai..." Momo spoke calmer now, still rubbing the back of his neck. "I- I know that you're doing homework and all... But I really need a friend to talk to." He said, eyes glued to the floor.

Ai couldn't help but think something was wrong, he put his pencil down and looked up to the red-head, who was blushing slightly and pursing his lips. "Is everything alright, Momo-kun?" The older boy asked, giving a look of concern.

Momo quickly shook his head, still watching the floor. "Well it's just that... I've made a big decision and I need someone to tell." He said quietly, "I trust you the most Nitori-senpai."

Nitori sighed in relief, knowing that it wasn't bad. It still could be and he was still worried, but he couldn't stop the tiny smile that crept up onto his lips at Momo's words.   
The red-head sighed deeply and inhaled. Then in one breath he said, "I- I'm gay!" 

The older boy sat quietly, mouth hung open slightly.

Momo's blush grew as he watched his roommate sit there without speaking. "I tried to tell my mom once and she said I was 'confused'" He said, once again quite. "I didn't want her to disapprove or anything so I just started flirting with girls a lot... But..."

"You don't like girls." Ai finished for him. "You're not confused, Momo-kun."

The other boy brought his eyes up from the ground to meet Ai's. "Thanks, Nitori-senpai..." He grinned.

Nitori smiled back at his friend warmly. "So is there anyone you like?" He asked. Some part of him hoped that Momo would say 'you'. But he understood the problem all too well. Even if Momo liked him, he wouldn't say anything.. For the same reason that Ai wouldn't tell Momotarou that he liked him! He didn't want to ruin their friendship and make things awkward... Anyway, Momo probably didn't like him. 

"Recently I met someone named Himuro.. He's just a bit older than me but he treats me well." Momo said, blushing once more. He did like Muro-senpai a lot, but there was always someone else that sparked his interest. He thought, however, that Ai was interested in Rin, which is why he didn't say anything. "He asked me out on a date just the other night..."

Oh. Nitori's smile dropped a little bit as he heard the red-head speak. "Did you say yes?" He asked. 

Momo was quite for a second as he looked at his senpai. He'd noticed Nitori's smile and that it had slighly gone away. "I- I said that I would think about it." He said simply. "I didn't know if I should say yes just yet..."

Nitori frowned a bit, "Momo-kun. If you like him then you should go on the date."

"You really think so?"

"Mhm." Ai nodded. 

Momo's grin returned and he jumped up a little, his usual obnoxious attitude returning. "Alright then, Nitori-senpai!! I'm going to accept!!!!!" He yelled.   
Nitori chuckled as Momo quickly climbed up to his bed, slipping and yelling "OW!" before he made it up and started texting rapidly. 

Once the red-head was distracted by his phone, Nitori let his smile drop all the way. He wouldn't let himself become jealous of this new boy though. He cared a lot about Momo, and he didn't want to ruin something. He stopped a sigh and spun back around in his chair to finish his homework, once again jumping a bit as his eyes caught the beetle jars. He composed himself and started working again, trying to distract himself from his aching heart.


	2. Practice

It'd been a few weeks since Momo started dating Himuro, and Nitori hated every second of it. He was used to the red-head talking for a while before going to bed. But now, every night, all of their bed time conversations had to do with 'Muro-senpai'. Nitori had tried to ignore it most of the time, but it became constant. During the day too. He'd brag about how wonderful his previous date was during practice and everyone would listen.

The poor silver haired boy had no idea what to do. He was torn, because he loved Momo. He loved everything about him. But he knew that it was far too late to say anything. He was sure that the golden-eyed otter boy was ready to say that he loved Himuro. Which was disgusting to Nitori. He hadn't even gotten the chance to meet this guy. But he already knew that he hated him.

Ai was suddenly ripped away from his thoughts as he heard the door open, a giggling mess of a Momo scurrying inside. The older boy tilted his head slightly, looking over at his roommate, who was holding his phone as he shut the door with his foot. Ai would only assume that he was texting Himuro.

"Nitori-senpai! You should see some of the stuff Muro-senpai texts to me." Momo said excitedly. Ai shook his head and said that it was alright.

The younger boy made a sort of dying whale noise, giving his senpai the pouty lip. "Ehhh!"

Ai couldn't stop himself from smiling a little bit. He never could around Momo. He was too happy and upbeat all the time, it was hard NOT to like him. He listened to the youger boy ramble as he climbed up to his bunk. He was saying something about how Muro-senpai got him chocolates and flowers, but he ate all the chocolates and he couldn't remember where he set the flowers. He'd told Himuro that he felt super bad but apparetently he said it was fine and that he could just get some more.

Nitori found himself thinking more about Momo again. He knew how Momo acted around his friends, but he wasn't sure if he acted the same to his partner. Did the red-head have a whole different personality? Or was he just the same. Then the thought slipped into his mind, that Momo would be too nice and to blind. If someone was just using him he wouldn't even notice. He tried to push that away though, he felt like he was just making excuses now.

Momo stopped talking for a little bit, "We have practice tomorrow right, Nitori-senpai?" he asked.

Ai chuckled a little, "Momo-kun, we have practice every day."

Momo huffed, "Of course, sorry!" he shouted, making his roommate jump back a bit. Why did he always have to yell!

Nitori hoped that Momo would start talking about something rather than his new boyfriend. Stuff that he would ask usually,like _, do you think horses get songs stuck in their heads?._

But of course, Momo just started up again. _Muro-senpai did this or Muro-senpai said this._

The silver haired boy rolled over, pulling his blanket up to his chin. At least one thing didn't change.. Momo's voice. It never mattered what the red-head was talking about, but somehow Ai would always find it soothing. He always fell asleep listening to the youger boy ramble.

\--

The next morning, when Ai awoke, Momo was nowhere to be found. One couldn't be sure if he had left in the middle of the night, or early in the morning. One thing was for sure, he was with Himuro. He was never anywhere else. The boy shook his head, he had a lot of stuff to get done today. Thinking about Himuro and Momo was just going to keep him held back.

He swung his legs over the side of the bed, stretching a bit before getting up. He opened up the curtains for light and turned around, gasping at what he saw.

Momo's stag beetles were no longer lined up against the desk. The jars were gone.

Nitori blinked a few times, and rubbed his eyes. He had to make sure that he was seeing correctly. He sighed deeply when he realized that they actually were gone.

Oh well, it just meant that the boy could do his homework in peace from now on. No more beetles. He went to the desk and took stuff out of his drawer. He got all of his stuff ready before he realized that he needed to shower first. It would cut into his time a bit, but he'd rather rearrange some things then go the rest of the day smelling like dirt.

\--

After showering and finishing the work that was at his desk, Ai went out for a little bit. He had some other things to do before practice and he wanted to get them done as quickly as possible. As he walked, he dug through his bag, looking for his list of things that he was going to get. Suddenly he felt someone bump into him.

"Ah! Sorry!" The person apologized.

Nitori shook his head, backing away. "Oh no, it was my-" He stopped as he looked up, recognizing immediatly who it was. Momo had shown plenty of pictures. Himuro.

The taller male blinked and leaned in just a bit, "Hey, you're Nitori." He said, though it didn't sound like he was glad to meet the silver haired male.

Ai nodded a bit, "Himuro, right?" he asked slowly.

Himuro put both his hands on his hips and looked over his shoulder. "Yeah."

Nitori glanced over his shoulder, seeing Momo bounding down the hallway like a maniac. "AHH! MURO-SENPAI YOU'VE MET NITORI-SENPAI!!!!!!!!" He yelled as he ran. He came to a halt behind Himuro, who was intentionally blocking the golden-eyed boy from going any further.

Ai looked at both of them, "Are you guys going somewhere?" He asked. "Practice is in about an hour, Momo-kun. You should be back before then."

The silver haired boy did not get the answer he wanted however, as he didn't get one at all. The red-head looked down at the ground. "Are you skipping practice?"

Again, nothing. Which meant Ai was right. He was a little upset, Momo always went to practice. But then, he also thought that for that reason the younger boy should get a day off. He pursed his lips and looked up to Himuro, "Excuse me. I have to get to practice."

Knowing that he was finally leaving, the tall boy stepped out of the way, letting Ai through. Momo almost called out after him, but he could tell that he was already upset enough. He didn't want to make things worse.

Himuro, as soon as Ai had made it down the hallway, grabbed Momo and pulled him the opposite way. "Come on, we don't want to miss the movie." He said. Momo grinned widley and ran ahead, easily pulling away from Himuro's grip.

\--

"Where's Momo-chan!" Nagisa asked, looking around.

Nitori gave him a confused look. "Huh? What are you all doing here today."

"We wanted to come see you, Ai-chan." Nagisa said, though he was wearing his swim suit.

"Nagisa-kun said he wanted to swim in the indoor pool. Our practice is out today since everyones been working so hard. So we came here." Rei intervened. He pushed his glasses up and looked around. "Anyway, where is Momo?"

Ai frowned, "He went on another date today." He said.

"EHH!" Nagisa cried out. "But- We came here to see both of you. Why is Momo-chan skipping practice!!"

The silver haired boy shook his head, "He just really likes Himuro." He said.

Rei could see that Nitori was upset about it, so he tried to change the subject. "Well then, let's swim." He said.

In just a few seconds, he had his arms snaked around Nagisa's waist and was lifting him up. Nagisa yelled in protest but Rei ignored him. He tossed the blond into the water, but Nagisa was too smart and too quick. He wrapped his hand around Rei's ankle and pulled him in too.

"Nagisa-kun!" Rei exclaimed. "I didn't even have time to take my glasses off."

Ai smiled lightly at the pair, they were ridiculous. Maybe if he hung out with them then he could keep his mind off of Momo...

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eeeeh Reigisa <3 also my heart is slowly breaking for poor baby Nitori :-(


	3. Feelings

"Momo-kun, you've been out all day." Was what the bubbly red-head was greeted with as he entered the dorm room. His face did not fall as he bounded over to Nitori, who was seated in his chair, facing the door. 

Before the other boy could react, Momo had put a foot on his chair and pushed it backwards. The red-headed one fell forwards, smacking his head on the carpeted floor. 

Ai let out a small squeal as his chair nearly fell backwards, and in reaction to his roommate falling. "Momo-kun! are you alright?!" He exclaimed, jumping up to his feet.

Momo put a hand up and waved it, signifying that he was fine. He put both of his hands back down and used them to lift himself back up. "Yeah, sorry. I was trying to do something dramatic. I forgot that your chair was a rolley one." He said, rubbing the back of his neck.

Nitori sighed slightly, a bit irritated. Not by this certain act, but just by Momo. More so it was Himuro. How had they only been dating a couple of weeks and the tall boy already managed to get Momo to skip practice. He sighed once again and looked down at the other. "Momo-kun, you can't miss practice again." 

Momo bit his lip and looked away. "I'm sorry, senpai..." He said quietly, "Muro-senpai just said that it would be fun... but I felt guilty the whole time." 

The silver haired boy pursed his lips and cringed at 'Muro-senpai'. He scooted his chair back under the desk before walking over to his bed and sitting down. "Eh.. You said that you were going to work hard, Momo-kun. How can you work hard if Himuro keeps asking you to skip practice..." 

"Muro-senpai only asked this once!" The younger one defended. "Though... He does want to spend more time with me... I can't do that with practice."

Nitori glanced over for a second, "You aren't going to quit or something, right?" He asked, he meant it slightly to be a joke, but a small part of him suspected that that was exactly what Himuro wanted Momo to do.

Momo was quiet for a long time, he kept his eyes on the floor. Finally he spoke up again. "Muro-senpai and I did have that conversation..." He almost whispered.

"What?!" Nitori tried not to yell, but he couldn't keep his voice down. 

The red-head flinched a little, "But.. I told him that it was too important." 

Ai calmed down as he heard the next sentence. He didn't want Momo to quit. The only time they had together now was right before bed and at practice. Now that the younger boy disappeared in the mornings. 

Momo bit his lip, "Hey... I- I..." 

"Hm?"   
The red-head took a deep, shaky breath. "I really want to break up with Muro-senpai." 

This caught Ai off guard. "What?" He asked, "I thought that you really liked him..."

Momo covered his eyes with his hands, shaking his head. "I did.. But I have feelings for someone else and they won't go away." He cried. It was true, no matter what, he could not stop his feelings. He loved Nitori, not Himuro. 

"Then tell him.." Nitori's hope sparked up again, maybe those feelings were reserved for him. 

"That's it though, he's so nice and caring... I really don't know how to tell him that.." 

Ai thought for a long time, "Well, I think being honest is the best thing you can do right now." 

Momo uncovered his face and looked up to his roommate, smiling brightly once again. "Thanks, Nitori-senpai!" He exclaimed. He got up on his feet and went over. He stopped as he climbed up to latter to his bed. "Hey, senpai.." He said.

Ai looked over with wide eyes... was he about to...?

Everything was quiet as Momo looked at him, it said it in his eyes. Everything he wanted to tell Ai, that he loved him, that he thought he was beautiful, it was all there. Nitori saw it too, his eyes lit up as he waited, but he was waiting for nothing.

Momo was too afraid to admit it, he closed his mouth and looked away, climbing up and landing on his bed with a large thump.

Nitori laid down too, bringing his blanket over his head and smiling. His eyes watered slightly, he knew that Momo felt the same way.

The only thing was, that Momo didn't know if Nitori felt what he did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH


	4. Break

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas break has come around, the boys have been sent home for the holidays. Nitori ends up at Momo's house... A bit... sick. What will happen?????????

Christmas came around fast that year. Before he knew it, Ai was already heading home for break. He didn't want to, he hated it at home. His dad was always drunk, no matter what. It wasn't a nice place for the silver haired boy. He would constantly be called a fag by his father, who had been throwing out as much stuff as he could that belonged to Ai. 

Break was equally horrible for Momo, who had to spend those two precious weeks at his parents place. It was really big and really nice, but he hated it there. His mother was always telling him that he needed to get a girlfriend. Of course he didn't want to tell her that he was gay. She'd be pissed. His dad would be pissed too. The only person that Momo had told was his grandmother. Thankfully she would be there for vacation too.

Dinner at Momo's family house was just as awful as he anticipated. The first thing that his mother said to him when he sat down was, "So do you have a girlfriend yet? You should be looking since you're graduating in about a year."

He smiled politely and shook his head, "I'm not really looking for a relationship." He said. It was amazing how different the red head acted around his family. His usual positivity was gone, he was just trying to get through dinner.

When that answer wasn't good enough for his mother, he sighed. She started to talk about how she didn't want him to be without a girl in his life. Then she remembered the discussion that her and Momo had a few years ago, "You're not a faggot, right?!" He exclaimed.

Momo cringed at that word, "Mom, that doesn't seem appropriate." He said quietly, looking away.

"Answer your mother, Momotarou." His dad said. 

"Darling." Grandma cut in. It was about time, she'd been silent for a while now. Momo was thankful that she was there.

"No mom, I want to know if my son is a faggot." 

"Hey," Seijuro said, "Mom, really. This isn't something that needs to be discussed at dinner." 

She slammed her hand down on the table, "Bullshit!" She shouted, "Bullshit! I know you're lying to me! I know you're a faggot!" 

"Mom! Stop!" Momo tried not to shout but he was too loud..

"Hey! Don't fucking yell at your mother!" His dad stood up from the table, nearly flipping it as he did. 

"I didn't--" Momo teared up slightly, but got up too. He ran off upstairs and into his room, slamming the door and locking it.

He climbed up onto the bed and buried his head into the pillows, sobbing. Why the hell was his family like this? Why was his mother that way? He stayed that was for a long time before sitting up. He thought maybe he should message Ai, since they hadn't talked since school let out and he missed him. He opened up the messaging app and started to text Ai.

\--  
It didn't take that much texting for the two boys to decide that they wanted to meet up. Nitori had to get out of his house, and away from his father, who was once again drunk. He snuck out his bedroom window and over to Momo's place. Momo was worried the whole time, it was cold out, and his house was far. Eventually though, Ai made it safely, and secretly. The red-head led him back to his room, making him cover up in blankets for a while, so that he wouldn't catch something. Not that he wouldn't get something anyway. Momo had been feeling a little gross for a while. His nose was stopped up and he was sneezing and coughing. 

"M-Maybe you should go home-- I mean, not home. But maybe to Haru-Senpais house, or Mako-senpai... I-- Wouldn't want you to get sick..." Momo said, not even looking at Ai, he didn't want to sneeze on him.

Nitori sighed a bit, unwrapping himself from the tons of blankets that were put over him. "Momo-kun... I wouldn't mind if you got me sick." He said.

Momo slightly looked over to the other boy, gasping. Ai had already caught something, if not from Momo, then from the cold outside. Nitori's face was red, his forehead was burning up, and his eyes were watery.

"A-AH! Senpai! You're already sick!" The red-head exclaimed. 

"I'm not... I'm fine... Hey-- You broke up with him right?" Nitori asked, leaning in slightly, placing a hand on Momo's leg.

"M-Himuro?--" Momo glanced away for a moment, "Y-Yeah... I did that a while ago..."

"Good..." Nitori continued. He moved closer, now putting most of his weight on the other boy. "H-Hey-- You should kiss me..."

Momo's face lit up bright pink, "K-KISS?!" 

"Yeah... Maybe..." Ai moved his hands to Momo's shoulders, pulling himself up. "Maybe I could blow you..." 

Momo's blush grew darker, but he didn't dare move. He didn't want to upset Nitori. "S-Senpai... I think you're delusional..." He said quietly.

Ai stared at him for a while before pushing himself off. "Sorry, Momo-kun... I'm not feeling well..."

Momo smiled, "Do you need some water?" He asked. The silver haired boy nodded a little.

"Yes..." He said.

The younger male got up from the bed and went to the door, "I'll be back in a minute..." He said.   
\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ****PLEASE READ***** This is a smut warning. For those of you who do not wish to read this next chapter, you do not have to. You have been warned.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. I'll try to keep it updated!


End file.
